Friends

I can't express how much my life is made better by amazing and wonderful friends. God has truly blessed me with the friendships of some unbelievable Christians and people. I recently got one of these people back in my life after she was unreachable at boot camp for 6 weeks which was miserable! It's times like these when you can't talk to someone that you realize how much you depend on them and love being around them. It makes me realize that I shouldn't take for granted the ability to pick up the phone and call one of my amazing friends and chat.

I have been blessed with all sorts of friends, some that try to keep me in track when I step out a little bit, some that pray without ceasing for me, some that make me laugh uncontrollably, and all of them love me unconditionally. I wish that all of my friends lived in one place so I didn't have to travel to see them but that's not God's plan. He has a place for each one of these friends in my heart and a plan for each one in my life. I'm always excited to see what God has planned for the role of this friend or that friend in my life.

Thank you to all of you who love me unconditionally. I am more thankful than I can express and it makes my heart happy to know and love each one of you!

Work for it

So why is it that we think we want something so badly but when we have to work for it or wait for it we don't want it as badly? Think about something you really really want, then think about all the work that you will have to put in to have it. Does that make it more valueable or does it make you want it less? Does it make your life stressful? I'm sure feeling it. You think you're lonely and that you want a boyfriend or girlfriend, you think you want a new job, a new life, a new set of friends but then when the opportunity rises but it's not easy what do you do? I've been dealing with this lately. I'm living this wonderful single life, doing what I want to do, living free as the wind, laughing, smiling, and flirting. And then... new men come into my life and the potential of not being single anymore arises. Is that what I want now? Do I want that challenge? Am I willing to put myself out there and risk rejection and hurt? Am I willing to wait and let these men lead when I am a strong and assertive woman? I've rarely waited for anything in my life that I could get out and get. Am I trusting God's plan if I'm trying to make this work and stressing about it? So many questions! This isn't easy but how easy is it supposed to be? Good things are supposed to have work put into them right? All this attention was fun at first but really I think it's making my very wondeful life more complicated. My friends are telling me one thing but my heart is telling me another. I don't think that men should have to do everything and that I should sit here and let some guy come sweep me off my feet. I think I should roll up my sleeves and get in there as well. Isn't cooperation and equal effort what makes a good marriage work? Obviously I need to do some more praying about this and less jumping to conclusions. Here's to getting the wheels in my head to stop turning long enough to pray honestly and whole heartedly about this.

Wonderful and Long day

Today we became a multisite church, one church multiple locations. It was an awesome day for Brentwood church. Even though it wasn't the same comfort of the same place and the same people it still felt like home. Many of the familiars were there, the music was awesome (but a little loud), the message was moving, and the coffee was delicious. I also ended up serving which is something I haven't done on a Sunday in a long time. I'm more of a weekday-behind the scenes kind of girl but they were short a few volunteers so I went for it. I ended up in KidsFocus with the 1 year olds. Man oh man two little boys stole my heart. A little blonde and a little strawberry blonde hugged me, cuddled with me, gave me high fives, and made my heart melt. It definitely made me want kids yesterday instead of sometime in the future... If only I could trust and love as easily as those little children. The boys had never met me yet they latched on and stayed with me for an hour and a half with only a few minute of coaxing. If we could surrender that easily to God how great would our lives be? Unbelievably great! I heart my church and I heart being involved and giving back to the church. Today was a great day for the church, a moving day with my God, and a heart warming day with 2 little boys. A few minutes of cuddle time with them more than made up for a lack of cuddle time with men my own age ;) Where can you get involved with your church?

Dating Game

So why does dating seem to be this annoying game? One of my friends is always asking me questions like "is it too soon to call?" "how long should I wait to facebook him?" just silly things like that. Why does it have to be such a game? Why can't we just do what we feel? If you want to call or text why can't you just do it? Why are we worried about looking like we "like" a person too much or why do we have to wait for the guy to do it? I just don't understand lol. All of these questions are probably why I haven't dated in so long. Which is another great point... why do people ask me the inexperienced one? I hope that when I do start dating there is none of this game playing or sillyness! It's so exhausting. I just want a normal guy that loves Jesus to ask me out, lead me through a dating relationship, and then ask me to marry him. Is that so much to ask? I'm not saying I'm not going to put any work in because I will but why is it not that simple. I guess one day I'll find out.... hopefully sooner than later.

What a week!

This past week I... laughed more than I have in a long time, was extremely social, stayed up later than I should, tried new things, obsessed a little, and loved a lot! There was not a dull moment during this past week. Meetings with old friends to catch up, hanging out with new friends, going to concerts and eating late at night, fusion, old roomates and best friends visiting, and a beautiful Sunday with a little grill mixed in to finish the weekend. I've prayed to fit in, I've prayed for friends, I've prayed for friends with Y chromosomes who love Jesus, all of those prayers have been answered recently :) I also prayed for a church family and it is coming on strong this week as well. God is good and He loves me very much. I'm feeling it recently and I can't help but smile about it. More details to come but right now it's late and friends with Y chromosomes means you stay up later at night and get less sleep! I don't know why it means that but it does. More details to come!

Cycling

Have you ever noticed how much life cycles? If you know the love of Jesus you can remain a little more steady and even keeled but still life, emotions, and life situations cycle. Sometimes this is what makes life exciting... at least when you are on the fun part of the cycle. For instance I will be fine, loving life single, and thanking God for the opportunities that he has blessed me with... and then... a new guy with potential will come into the picture. I then remember how I would like to start a family before I'm 30 and really miss having guys around consistently in my life. This is the high part of the cycle, the fun part where you are excited about the potential of something new. Then inevitably things don't move in the direction I would like or don't move anywhere at all and then I'm on the bottom of that cycle. The not so fun part where you feel like you are back to the monotony of everyday life. The same thing you were doing before the cycle. So cycling can be exciting and depressing at the same time. I know that God uses these moments to teach me many things. The biggest of which is patience. He teaches me to come closer to Him and make Him my main focus so that the highs and lows aren't so bad. With Him as my focus everyone else that comes into my life is bonus and that's the way it should be. Thank you Lord for the many lessons you teach me whether easy or difficult.